L.O.V.E.

The Lovers. Painting by Rene Magritte.

Language
Of
Viewing
Eternity

© Sonya Rose

Year of Grace

I sit here—

Dreaming for things to naturally fall into its place.

Staring into my living space, so weak I appear.

Can’t keep up the pace—

Of the human race, a well-established career;

I feel so out of place.

I look back at the years, a memory trace of an old frontier.

See the rough bumps, the crinkly pattern in an emerald green depression vase…

In my changing face, I feel a new tear.

If only I could embrace—

The colors of the wind in its breathing space (all-clear)

If only I could swim with the ocean and reappear—

Like a pearl in its hiding place…

If only I could jump on the next cloud and disappear—

Fly to a higher place.

If only I could touch the sun and give more cheer—

Not burn up in deep space.

If only I could walk on the moon (from here)—

Write that song that I hear play from its imaginary place.

If only I could play bass… and drink some fine dark beer—

On and on and on, in a parking space

With no cars, just a gathering space—to give ear;

A meeting place, a change of pace

For anyone who needs breathing place, a life peer.

Like me, this is my visual place.

Some say it’s a prisoner’s base, to draw nearer

To a lower place; to interlace…

Others say its part of an obstacle race, never to interfere

With a higher space,

And now my dog at my feet, who I hold dear,

Just wants me to cut to the chase.

All I know, it’s still all unclear…

But, to be sincere,

I could never fight this (cancer) alone, without fear—

Not without Love or my heart in the right place;

And, especially, not without—Grace.

Description: 2011 is my Year of Grace. Through a vivid dream, I was led to receive proper healing. I was warned to get my breasts thoroughly checked. After ultrasound/MRI-biopsies, I was diagnosed: stage 2 ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma), LCIS & DCIS, grade 3, node-positive. Following a lumpectomy, 8 cycles of chemo, deep in September, I had a bilateral total skin-sparring mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. In just one year, my risk dropped from 85% to 35% to 17.5% of cancer recurring. As, I am continuing my hormone therapy for the next five years, I have adopted even healthier ways of living, a greener lifestyle. I am learning more on what it means to be a BRCA mutation carrier, with a 50% chance plus 1% higher every year of hereditary ovarian cancer… and other cancers (pancreatic, malignant melanoma, subgroup of lymphomas and leukemia). Also, what I must do to further overcome my underlying condition of Chronic Lyme Disease.

I’ve been blessed through the miracle of more than just one dream (as my cancer went under the radar of GYN/self-breast exams and mammograms for over 8 long years, after 9/11 exposure, around age 30)… through excellent care of doctors and nurses, family and friends, my fiancé, my sweet Sonny… through the power of God’s angels on Earth and in Heaven. Through those faces that I’ve seen in my dreams before I’ve met them…

Lose the Lyme: Save the Rhyme

 

May is “Lyme Disease Awareness Month”, but for me, it’s every month. I’m a Lyme Disease Survivor. After years of being misdiagnosed/undiagnosed, I trusted my instincts/intuition and was treated successfully for advanced Lyme Disease at Malibu Hyperbaric Medical Center in 2010; referred to by Turn the Corner  …I was very happy that my strength eventually returned. However, it was not long after…that I had another life saving dream. This time to get my breasts checked immediately. In early 2011, I was diagnosed and being treated for Invasive Breast Cancer (BRCA2+) at Pink Lotus Breast Center/Cedars-Sinai and Tower Hematology Oncology Medical Group in Los Angeles. I can only hope and pray that I will get through it as well.

“Lose the Lyme: Save the Rhyme” is a poem that I wrote while undergoing treatment for Chronic Lyme Disease. It can be just as disabling and life threatening as Breast Cancer, but does not receive near that kind of attention, which is very sad. Please visit CALDA – California Lyme Disease Association for more information into this tough, debilitating, chronic, hard to diagnose and treat disease. Thank you. Many blessings…and I hope you enjoy my video poetry.

 

“Lose the Lyme: Save the Rhyme”

 

I

I can’t hustle…

when some strange disease has attacked my joint and muscle.

I can’t think straight,

when I’m carrying all this added weight.

I can’t go on believing-

in a system that isn’t seeing.

I can’t dream for too long,

when I feel something inside me is so wrong.

I can’t solve a riddle,

with confusion and crying—dying in the middle.

I can’t do the things that I once could do…

If it hasn’t happened yet, it could happen to you.

I can’t stand the pain at times…

Am I really a victim of biological warfare—terrible crimes?

This is a very critical rhyme,

from a simple soul suffering with Lyme’s in her prime.

 

II

Wouldn’t you know, sprinkles are now coming down on my face:

I can barely feel the rain, yet I embrace-

God’s Grace is taking place.

I can almost see in the cloudy skies — a moving staircase.

Close to the ocean, I feel the big wind and my heart race.

Healing begins with a Wounded Healer, at a slow moving pace.

—

Featured on Planet Thrive:
http://planetthrive.com/2010/05/lyme-rhyme/

Love Sky Nearby

When I look deep into the beautiful blue sky,
I ask, “Why? … Why? … Oh, God, why?”
Why do we all have to die?
Oh, my… (I say this with a sigh)
Someday…
Sometimes, I just don’t know what to say
when someone has cancer. Now how-to breakthrough
and win this battle, too…
It isn’t easy, but sharing a day like this…
I sure wouldn’t want to miss.
It feels so good inside…
to have no fear, say if I died—
tomorrow… My love will go on
in all the day-glo.
This I know—
because Love tells me so.

..I enjoy writing Carpe Diem “Seize the Day” poems. More so since being diagnosed with node-positive Breast Cancer. I was very fortunate to have received a dream of warning: A big bosom lady appeared to me in my dream one early January morning. Gave me the strong message to get checked now! Don’t wait one more day.

My cancer went under the radar of Breast GYN/self-exams and mammograms (found in an ultrasound/biopsy @Pink Lotus Breast Center/MRI @Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in LA). I was given my final diagnosis (ILC–Invasive Lobular Carcinoma; LCIS, DCIS grade III, BRCA2+) during the world-wide festival of “St. Agatha of Sicily” (Catania), Patron Saint of Breast Cancer.

My cancer tumor was cut out following—the reports—Valentine’s Day.

“Love Sky Nearby” was written on the top of my head the day before Earth Day/Easter weekend. The images were filmed on what would have been my wedding day [4.8.2011]. That’s been postponed until I finish my chemotherapy treatments… further undergo bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and reconstruction.

This poem is a very simple one, but one that I can only hope—most around the world could relate to—especially when it comes to just wanting to “really” live for the day… as if it’s endless like the sky. And to be able to share it with the ones we love, well… is more than words could say.

I wish you all the best on your journey. And, most importantly, enjoy your day wherever you are…

 

Please visit me @ CaringBridge:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sonyarose

Valley Heart

In honor of National Poetry Month, I give my free flowing poetic thoughts and aspirations; tapping into Mother Earth [our natural and spiritual life] during troubled times [in America and across the world]. 

Bring your drifting thoughts, too, back into focus by walking in nature: It’s a great way to reinvigorate yourself and gain perspective. 

Mother Earth sends her light and love into all of us this Earth Day and everyday. I can appreciate her better and all her benefits, as my own mother. 

If you are a soul searcher, like I am, there are great places to go—which offer big answers to your questions—that can help you better understand your current situation(s), or simply give you a new sense of direction, especially when you begin (re)thinking about your purpose, your connection…

 

 

 

VALLEY HEART 

Is there some one you know like you, just to touch?
Have you found yet a new place that you love so much-
that you won’t stop loving?

A place like someone special is not that easy to forget.
A place—a person, now is it?

I see you can’t take your eyes off-
The Valley of Fire;
I know—I cant.
It’s burning inside of me.

See a moment like this—becomes you. You-
know the moment: You are the moment.
A wonderful moment when fate takes your hand-
and makes you feel like…smiling…makes you feel, well, almost like crying…

So destiny calls and makes- 
you do great things! I bet you don’t even realize them all or just how special you truly are!

And, as my day comes to an end,
I will give thanks for it all—whatever that may be…
Well, just being alive is enough-
in the setting sun!
Yes, a sweet, setting sun keeps my dreams alive:
They are peaceful dreams.

…I stand and wait and still…I wait. Your eyes are-
just amazing; They are brightly beaming. 

Everyday I am-
lost in this valley of dreams;
Just you and I and-
the fire sky, a heavenly breeze,
a kiss on my face, how you come to me-
so tenderly in this beautiful light.
God, you are so beautiful.

What did you say? 

I see…

Well, if you must leave…
I’ll see you someday.
I promise, my Eagle friend.
Tonight I’ll just lay my head upon a rock-
and dream until the breaking of day…a day that will seem to last forever. 

But even in this night—there’s still a light:
There’s still a hope inside my heart that lets me say:
I will hold on till then-
and I will see you again.

I will see you again.
This isn’t the end
You’re my forever friend-
and I will see you ‘for sure’ again.

Good night.

 

[In Honor of Nat’l Poetry Month] – MySpace Blog

Visionary

In silence, a poet is born.
A new life in the universe
Emerges
Dreaming in light.
A soul awakens
To creation, whose eyes
Reflect the unknown.

 

© Sonya Rose

One Last Fight

In my hand, I carry a choice.
No one can hear my voice.
Unless, I open my heart
From the start-
Day by Day, rejoice.
Life’s a broken song.
Music travels along
A basin of blue rain;
Isolating the insane,
I am no longer strong.
I feel these pains,
Gripped in chains.
On the inside,
I am taken by second tide
To another plane-
The angels are crying,
As they watch me dying
In destiny’s flight;
Given one last fight.
My spirit is flying.

 

© Sonya Rose

Soulmate

Can you see me?
How tall am I?
Can you foresee?
Lifelong company.
Multiply.
Can you see me?
Eyes of the sea-
Lips draw nigh.
Can you foresee?
A ring on thee-
Reply.
Can you see me?
Body in harmony-
The universal eye-
Can you foresee?
Miracles of three-
Descending to unify.
Can you see me?
Can you foresee?

 

© Sonya Rose

Breathe on Me

“Love that never told can be”
From the mouth of William Blake
A story killing the magical 3,
A baby dies for someone’s sake.

Without reading the history of heart,
One dies in levels, prevailing in pot:
There’s black in pure, skin in smart.
The imaginary hellish headshot-

Tossed to the floor once more.
Casting calls and freedom falls.
A smile, a shake, a tour-
Of a familiar room which calls.

Listen in silence.
Awake to it’s ringing.
Your eyes I sense.
I feel your singing.

 

© Sonya Rose

The Light

We begin our decent.
Music flows across heaven’s psalm.
A secluded castle—a vision sent
to you in calm;
Listen. Hear every key.
The entire song
is your life tree-
Your beautiful branches, long.
Once on ground, I have found-
Fallen the song, a pass away.
Our lives are so sound,
forever and this day.

 

© Sonya Rose

Listen

Can you hear a song-
Played in the night?
Do you surrender-
If the rhythm is right?
Nothing last forever,
Even a common song;
Where there is real love…
There is no right and wrong.

Close your eyes.
Feel this burning,
Beyond the world
Of yearning-
Listen to you call.
Wipe the past and fly-
Across the silence
Of a stormy sky…

 

© Sonya Rose

Hummingbird

I have a hummingbird in my hand.
The followers of innocence understand.
Millions of God’s creations are crying.
I am the wolf, the teacher dying.
Gripping to the circle of hope, thereof-
A renewal in the light of love.

 

© Sonya Rose

True Union of Souls

Born side by side
In the waking of paradise,
We opened our eyes by bedside.
A separation of sacrifice-

You and I slept all night long.
We bonded in love-
In a lullaby, in an angel’s song;
Napping in a new world whereof-
We parted to separate families. We chose
To swim in an ocean between our light;
Sharing dreams of desire, we still compose
Romance in the night-

Growing never alone,
We continue to sing, dance, and laugh with the Spirit
Who guides us into the complete unknown-
Waiting to return to the infinite…

Our hearts, we freely give.
Never losing each other to
The insensitive…
Part of me is waiting for you.

 

© Sonya Rose

.

Unveil the Oblivion

Facing the unknown
Burns the very heart.
Waves pulling our lives apart.
No one comes back alone,
Never could be.
Our lives as one,
Buried in the sun-
Of a Universal Mystery.

Just pull the plug!
There’s something here.
Swept in a whirlpool of our very own fear.
Never to see God’s face…
Heaven is a better place,
A wide net
Of yet
To embrace…

And, my arms, my eyes…
The passing of our hunger.
When the forgotten dies.
How I wish—I were younger.
Our experiences unfold.
How precious is time,
A found treasure,
A great measure
Of silver and gold.

 

© Sonya Rose

Blue Fire

My memories are burned in the night.
In my mind, I took the flight of endless sight.
Flying through turbulence and smoke,
I immediately awoke.
The hour is three.
And I long to see…
What am I doing here?
My mission remains unclear.

© Sonya Rose

.

Love Somehow

Who knows love over time?
Hearts cry in open rhyme.
Birds sing in the night
As sun screams for light-
Drums relax; tempt to beat:
Together, soaring summer heat.
Winds are dancing; freely moving.
Sea between souls is grooving-
Yesterdays yearning, temptations toss:
Pages of photos become our loss.
I’m sitting by a familiar stranger.
Waiting next to him, drawn to danger.
Hands glide over two in a plane;
Windows and rain.
He now knows he must love somehow,
Again, someone new, someone now;
But, he can’t seem to find-
True love; she’s always in his mind.

 

© Sonya Rose

River Journey

 

Sweet chariot, I am going home.
Walk in the shadows with me,
River Journey…
I must roam
barefoot with company.
Sweet chariot, I am going home,
passing through the gates of Rome,
to the Garden of Gethsemane,
River Journey…
In silence, lies ohm.
In this state, I am free.
Sweet chariot, I am going home.
The ocean’s foam
washes on my feet, a light debris,
River Journey…
I see a dome
above the living tree.
Sweet chariot, I am going home.
River Journey…

 

© Sonya Rose

The Greatest Gift

 

In silence, heaven sent you.
Your voice sings to me,
dancing in my view.
I know these dances
where I take chances.
Only one song I sing,
the love you bring.

 

© Sonya Rose

God’s Gift

Every morning, I rise to a canvas, snow-white.
A new experience awaits.
I vision a rainbow of light,
become as a little child who creates.

I am looking at art
though hands of a miracle,
to the center of my heart,
to the depths of my soul.

Taught by the Greatest Teacher,
I listen in silence…
Draw from every feature:
Perfection, Rebirth, and Innocence.

Presented a palette to paint the Prince of Peace,
I stand before the Divine’s greatest masterpiece.

© Sonya Rose

The Queen Rose

 

In loving memory of my Oma Rosa

 

She holds God with one hand.
The other hand is where I stand.
Miles away, I wait for Spring.
To see you bloom and sing,
I will cross the ocean to your land.

The weeping waters dream deep.
Still you are asleep.
Please, wait for me.
Do not part to destiny;
I have something for you to keep.

Wait, wait, do not wither away.
I am swimming so fast this day.
A storm delayed my coming.
I hear heaven is humming:
The 23rd psalm faraway.

In silence, I felt a petal-
Fall before my eyes and settle.
The scent of a rose draws near.
The image of you does slowly appear,
Reflecting off a miraculous metal.

Vanished to a saving place…
Now, this world I must face.
God’s rain came and I washed ashore.
Stumbling across land still unsure…
Here is my heart with you in space.

 

© Sonya Rose

Nellie Belly

This is one of my very first rhymes that I wrote called “Nellie Belly”, in honor of my daschund, a gift from my dad’s old buddy, Joe, when I was just five years old. Funny when you’re a kid, you’re a lot less serious!

 

Nellie Belly,
Wiggle wee wee,
How does your belly grow?
With meaty meats
And doggie treats,
That’s how my belly grows!

Nelly Belly,
Wiggle wee wee,
How do your legs grow?
So short and stout,
I have no doubt;
Soon, my legs will grow.

Nellie Belly,
Wiggle wee wee,
Do you love your family so?
I wish I could say-
I love each in the day.
Oh, I love my family so.

I am the world’s finest wiener hound.
Although, my belly may hit the ground,
I look good with my master on the street.
I am ready to go home now; I’m beat.

 

© Sonya Rose