Year of Grace

December 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

I sit here—

Dreaming for things to naturally fall into its place.
Staring into my living space, so weak I appear.
Can’t keep up the pace—
Of the human race, a well-established career;
I feel so out of place.
I look back at the years, a memory trace of an old frontier.
See the rough bumps, the crinkly pattern in an emerald green depression vase…
In my changing face, I feel a new tear.
If only I could embrace—
The colors of the wind in its breathing space (all-clear)
If only I could swim with the ocean and reappear—
Like a pearl in its hiding place…
If only I could jump on the next cloud and disappear—
Fly to a higher place.
If only I could touch the sun and give more cheer—
Not burn up in deep space.

If only I could walk on the moon (from here)—

Write that song that I hear play from its imaginary place.

If only I could play bass… and drink some fine dark beer—
On and on and on, in a parking space

With no cars, just a gathering space—to give ear;

A meeting place, a change of pace

For anyone who needs breathing place, a life peer.
Like me, this is my visual place.
Some say it’s a prisoner’s base, to draw nearer
To a lower place; to interlace…
Others say its part of an obstacle race, never to interfere
With a higher space,
And now my dog at my feet, who I hold dear,
Just wants me to cut to the chase.
All I know, it’s still all unclear…
But, to be sincere,
I could never fight this (cancer) alone, without fear—
Not without Love or my heart in the right place;
And, especially, not without—Grace.

Description: 2011 is my Year of Grace. Through a vivid dream, I was led to receive proper healing. I was warned to get my breasts thoroughly checked. After ultrasound/MRI-biopsies, I was diagnosed: stage 2 ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma), LCIS & DCIS, grade 3, node-positive. Following a lumpectomy, 8 cycles of chemo, deep in September, I had a bilateral total skin-sparring mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. In just one year, my risk dropped from 85% to 35% to 17.5% of cancer recurring. As, I am continuing my hormone therapy for the next five years, I have adopted even healthier ways of living, a greener lifestyle. I am learning more on what it means to be a BRCA mutation carrier, with a 50% chance plus 1% higher every year of hereditary ovarian cancer… and other cancers (pancreatic, malignant melanoma, subgroup of lymphomas and leukemia). Also, what I must do to further overcome my underlying condition of Chronic Lyme Disease.

I’ve been blessed through the miracle of more than just one dream (as my cancer went under the radar of GYN/self-breast exams and mammograms for over 8 long years, after 9/11 exposure, around age 30)… through excellent care of doctors and nurses, family and friends, my fiancé, my sweet Sonny… through the power of God’s angels on Earth and in Heaven. Through those faces that I’ve seen in my dreams before I’ve met them…

One Last Fight

March 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

In my hand, I carry a choice.
No one can hear my voice.
Unless, I open my heart
From the start-
Day by Day, rejoice.
Life’s a broken song.
Music travels along
A basin of blue rain;
Isolating the insane,
I am no longer strong.
I feel these pains,
Gripped in chains.
On the inside,
I am taken by second tide
To another plane-
The angels are crying,
As they watch me dying
In destiny’s flight;
Given one last fight.
My spirit is flying.

 

© Sonya Rose

Soulmate

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

Can you see me?
How tall am I?
Can you foresee?
Lifelong company.
Multiply.
Can you see me?
Eyes of the sea-
Lips draw nigh.
Can you foresee?
A ring on thee-
Reply.
Can you see me?
Body in harmony-
The universal eye-
Can you foresee?
Miracles of three-
Descending to unify.
Can you see me?
Can you foresee?

 

© Sonya Rose

Breathe on Me

March 6, 2009 § 2 Comments

“Love that never told can be”
From the mouth of William Blake
A story killing the magical 3,
A baby dies for someone’s sake.

Without reading the history of heart,
One dies in levels, prevailing in pot:
There’s black in pure, skin in smart.
The imaginary hellish headshot-

Tossed to the floor once more.
Casting calls and freedom falls.
A smile, a shake, a tour-
Of a familiar room which calls.

Listen in silence.
Awake to it’s ringing.
Your eyes I sense.
I feel your singing.

 

© Sonya Rose

Listen

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

Can you hear a song-
Played in the night?
Do you surrender-
If the rhythm is right?
Nothing last forever,
Even a common song;
Where there is real love…
There is no right and wrong.

Close your eyes.
Feel this burning,
Beyond the world
Of yearning-
Listen to you call.
Wipe the past and fly-
Across the silence
Of a stormy sky…

 

© Sonya Rose

Hummingbird

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

I have a hummingbird in my hand.
The followers of innocence understand.
Millions of God’s creations are crying.
I am the wolf, the teacher dying.
Gripping to the circle of hope, thereof-
A renewal in the light of love.

 

© Sonya Rose

True Union of Souls

March 5, 2009 § Leave a comment

Born side by side
In the waking of paradise,
We opened our eyes by bedside.
A separation of sacrifice-

You and I slept all night long.
We bonded in love-
In a lullaby, in an angel’s song;
Napping in a new world whereof-
We parted to separate families. We chose
To swim in an ocean between our light;
Sharing dreams of desire, we still compose
Romance in the night-

Growing never alone,
We continue to sing, dance, and laugh with the Spirit
Who guides us into the complete unknown-
Waiting to return to the infinite…

Our hearts, we freely give.
Never losing each other to
The insensitive…
Part of me is waiting for you.

 

© Sonya Rose

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Unveil the Oblivion

March 5, 2009 § Leave a comment

Facing the unknown
Burns the very heart.
Waves pulling our lives apart.
No one comes back alone,
Never could be.
Our lives as one,
Buried in the sun-
Of a Universal Mystery.

Just pull the plug!
There’s something here.
Swept in a whirlpool of our very own fear.
Never to see God’s face…
Heaven is a better place,
A wide net
Of yet
To embrace…

And, my arms, my eyes…
The passing of our hunger.
When the forgotten dies.
How I wish—I were younger.
Our experiences unfold.
How precious is time,
A found treasure,
A great measure
Of silver and gold.

 

© Sonya Rose

Blue Fire

March 5, 2009 § 1 Comment

My memories are burned in the night.
In my mind, I took the flight of endless sight.
Flying through turbulence and smoke,
I immediately awoke.
The hour is three.
And I long to see…
What am I doing here?
My mission remains unclear.

© Sonya Rose

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Love Somehow

March 5, 2009 § 2 Comments

Who knows love over time?
Hearts cry in open rhyme.
Birds sing in the night
As sun screams for light-
Drums relax; tempt to beat:
Together, soaring summer heat.
Winds are dancing; freely moving.
Sea between souls is grooving-
Yesterdays yearning, temptations toss:
Pages of photos become our loss.
I’m sitting by a familiar stranger.
Waiting next to him, drawn to danger.
Hands glide over two in a plane;
Windows and rain.
He now knows he must love somehow,
Again, someone new, someone now;
But, he can’t seem to find-
True love; she’s always in his mind.

 

© Sonya Rose

Scream of the Butterfly

December 12, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

What is your birth name?
A number hidden in black flames.
A white cross
blowing in dross.
The center of existence
draws a circumference
around fluttering pages,
skipping through the ages;
miles long
of the millennium song-
never heard.
My knowledge of a word-
love-sent
in cities of detachment.
There are no rules,
no choices of schools.
Watch the season pass by
and greet the butterfly.
As she vanishes in the steeple,
so do the people.

 

© Sonya Rose

Yours

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

Where will you be-
many years from now…
with me, sleeping in destiny…
somehow?

 

Here in my bedroom
I see you behind my eyes.
Empty is my womb.
The morning draws my rise.

 

The sun flickers
through the drapes…
He is getting sicker
in this endless escape…

 

© Sonya Rose

Lie-in-Wait

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

An old-fashioned junkie
Swallowed once more-
parched on bended knee.
Shadow of recollections in his drawer-
of photographs next to a single bed.
Her rosy lips curled in disgust, the blur…
Breaths of two in one minute, fled-
Moments of mercy for her.
A nurse with emotions recalling…
She wonders alone, goddess of his lot.
Heart bleeds with sadness, bawling…
Hopes for something; knot-
in her tongue, hand on his face…
His gray-green eyes, barrier to lies,
no longer sparkled in this place.
He listened and heard, “Don’t die”.
The room rushed in, what-would-be.
Arm’s reach from a half-naked picture-
She’s feeding the hungry;
making plenty of men richer…
Stared at her the time apart, hesitantly…
Another chance to save him—code blue.
“Please just tell me…”
Speaking down a long, dark road, through-
The other side … swept into a glimpse of fate.
What else was in her power? The end-
of a love story … dare not, not to late…
to tell the man she hated then…
She did not wish for him to die.
Could not ignore his good deeds,
nor imagine love built on a lie.
Three minutes, she pleads….
Doom was at hand.
He wanted her to love him enough.
To leave him, let go of his hand…
Staying by his side was rough.
Her cherished smile and voice so sweet-
was all he ever wanted … not swallow the hurt.
Rushing in the rain … rising to shaky feet,
she dropped the rose and an angel fell, in the wet dirt…

 

© Sonya Rose

Oceans Apart

December 11, 2008 § 2 Comments

It’s been a long time
since I saw the tide roll in.
Since I’ve seen your face
wondering where you’ve been…

Hiding deep in the ocean,
you never swim above,
sinking in constant emotion.
Are you drowning in love…
of no more?
Or is your love hidden,
knocking on my door?
Could our touch be forbidden?

If you choose to float ashore,
you’ll find that I’ll be there
no more.
But don’t look for me, if you care…

You’ll hear me in you heart…
for we’re oceans apart.

 

© Sonya Rose

Old Familiar Light

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment


Maybe the reason
why I can’t love you:
I lost my heart
in your room.

 

Come cover me with
Love-
In your room.

 

A blanket of the past
keeps me warm-
In your room,
In your room,
I’m lost
in an old familiar light-
In your room.

 

© Sonya Rose

Seasons of Sorrow

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment


There was a time for us to laugh and cry.
How can I get by winter to see July?

 

There was a time when our garden grew.
How will I plant seeds without us two?

 

There was a time when the ocean was warm.
How do I swim without security in a storm?

 

There is a time when the leaves fall:
And a time for your soul to leave it all…

 

© Sonya Rose

Loving You?

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment


So sorry for what I said-
a desert growing in my head.
How do I tell you so,
punching high and low?

 

Stop the pain inside.
Your touch is where I abide.

 

Open a world to emotion:
A stormy past scatters in my ocean.
I drown in taking another chance.
Surf upon these waters and dance.

 

Look into my eyes and what do you see?
Blinded by the light in me.

 

No more laughter, in the pouring rain…
How do you explain
the thief in the night who stole my days,
and misguided my ways?

 

Always told what to do…
I have finally escaped the face of you.

 

© Sonya Rose

Strangers in Love

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment

 


Your eyes

 

sparkle in the dark

 

as I say my goodbyes.

 

Mark

 

my name across

 

your heart.

 

Love is not a loss.

 

A river flows apart

 

our souls.

 

We can never drown.

 

Devotion strolls

 

to another town.

 

 

© Sonya Rose

Memory Bay

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment


Did you ever wish upon a star
dancing alone in the sky?
Shining so bright from afar…
As if never wanting to die
from your sight…
to stay forever…
fulfilling your one wish tonight
and leave you never?

 


But, promises
that lie on a string
become so heavy. Kiss
the air—of nothing;
You become prisoner
locked in the night.
What does occur
is a life not right.

 


Walking away,
you crossed
deep waters of yesterday;
Onto a bridge, you’re tossed
into the morning … you left on a whim;
Simply gone away…
And, your heart still beats by him,
washed ashore on Memory Bay.

 

 

© Sonya Rose

Fate

December 11, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

He controls the tide;
runs at my side.

 

No where to hide,
I jump on the ride.

 

I long to fly low.
Where will I go?

 

Back to each other,
my lover or another…

 

© Sonya Rose

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