Year of Grace

December 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

I sit here—

Dreaming for things to naturally fall into its place.
Staring into my living space, so weak I appear.
Can’t keep up the pace—
Of the human race, a well-established career;
I feel so out of place.
I look back at the years, a memory trace of an old frontier.
See the rough bumps, the crinkly pattern in an emerald green depression vase…
In my changing face, I feel a new tear.
If only I could embrace—
The colors of the wind in its breathing space (all-clear)
If only I could swim with the ocean and reappear—
Like a pearl in its hiding place…
If only I could jump on the next cloud and disappear—
Fly to a higher place.
If only I could touch the sun and give more cheer—
Not burn up in deep space.

If only I could walk on the moon (from here)—

Write that song that I hear play from its imaginary place.

If only I could play bass… and drink some fine dark beer—
On and on and on, in a parking space

With no cars, just a gathering space—to give ear;

A meeting place, a change of pace

For anyone who needs breathing place, a life peer.
Like me, this is my visual place.
Some say it’s a prisoner’s base, to draw nearer
To a lower place; to interlace…
Others say its part of an obstacle race, never to interfere
With a higher space,
And now my dog at my feet, who I hold dear,
Just wants me to cut to the chase.
All I know, it’s still all unclear…
But, to be sincere,
I could never fight this (cancer) alone, without fear—
Not without Love or my heart in the right place;
And, especially, not without—Grace.

Description: 2011 is my Year of Grace. Through a vivid dream, I was led to receive proper healing. I was warned to get my breasts thoroughly checked. After ultrasound/MRI-biopsies, I was diagnosed: stage 2 ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma), LCIS & DCIS, grade 3, node-positive. Following a lumpectomy, 8 cycles of chemo, deep in September, I had a bilateral total skin-sparring mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. In just one year, my risk dropped from 85% to 35% to 17.5% of cancer recurring. As, I am continuing my hormone therapy for the next five years, I have adopted even healthier ways of living, a greener lifestyle. I am learning more on what it means to be a BRCA mutation carrier, with a 50% chance plus 1% higher every year of hereditary ovarian cancer… and other cancers (pancreatic, malignant melanoma, subgroup of lymphomas and leukemia). Also, what I must do to further overcome my underlying condition of Chronic Lyme Disease.

I’ve been blessed through the miracle of more than just one dream (as my cancer went under the radar of GYN/self-breast exams and mammograms for over 8 long years, after 9/11 exposure, around age 30)… through excellent care of doctors and nurses, family and friends, my fiancé, my sweet Sonny… through the power of God’s angels on Earth and in Heaven. Through those faces that I’ve seen in my dreams before I’ve met them…

Visionary

March 6, 2009 § 6 Comments

In silence, a poet is born.
A new life in the universe
Emerges
Dreaming in light.
A soul awakens
To creation, whose eyes
Reflect the unknown.

 

© Sonya Rose

One Last Fight

March 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

In my hand, I carry a choice.
No one can hear my voice.
Unless, I open my heart
From the start-
Day by Day, rejoice.
Life’s a broken song.
Music travels along
A basin of blue rain;
Isolating the insane,
I am no longer strong.
I feel these pains,
Gripped in chains.
On the inside,
I am taken by second tide
To another plane-
The angels are crying,
As they watch me dying
In destiny’s flight;
Given one last fight.
My spirit is flying.

 

© Sonya Rose

Soulmate

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

Can you see me?
How tall am I?
Can you foresee?
Lifelong company.
Multiply.
Can you see me?
Eyes of the sea-
Lips draw nigh.
Can you foresee?
A ring on thee-
Reply.
Can you see me?
Body in harmony-
The universal eye-
Can you foresee?
Miracles of three-
Descending to unify.
Can you see me?
Can you foresee?

 

© Sonya Rose

Breathe on Me

March 6, 2009 § 2 Comments

“Love that never told can be”
From the mouth of William Blake
A story killing the magical 3,
A baby dies for someone’s sake.

Without reading the history of heart,
One dies in levels, prevailing in pot:
There’s black in pure, skin in smart.
The imaginary hellish headshot-

Tossed to the floor once more.
Casting calls and freedom falls.
A smile, a shake, a tour-
Of a familiar room which calls.

Listen in silence.
Awake to it’s ringing.
Your eyes I sense.
I feel your singing.

 

© Sonya Rose

The Light

March 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

We begin our decent.
Music flows across heaven’s psalm.
A secluded castle—a vision sent
to you in calm;
Listen. Hear every key.
The entire song
is your life tree-
Your beautiful branches, long.
Once on ground, I have found-
Fallen the song, a pass away.
Our lives are so sound,
forever and this day.

 

© Sonya Rose

Listen

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

Can you hear a song-
Played in the night?
Do you surrender-
If the rhythm is right?
Nothing last forever,
Even a common song;
Where there is real love…
There is no right and wrong.

Close your eyes.
Feel this burning,
Beyond the world
Of yearning-
Listen to you call.
Wipe the past and fly-
Across the silence
Of a stormy sky…

 

© Sonya Rose

Hummingbird

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

I have a hummingbird in my hand.
The followers of innocence understand.
Millions of God’s creations are crying.
I am the wolf, the teacher dying.
Gripping to the circle of hope, thereof-
A renewal in the light of love.

 

© Sonya Rose

True Union of Souls

March 5, 2009 § Leave a comment

Born side by side
In the waking of paradise,
We opened our eyes by bedside.
A separation of sacrifice-

You and I slept all night long.
We bonded in love-
In a lullaby, in an angel’s song;
Napping in a new world whereof-
We parted to separate families. We chose
To swim in an ocean between our light;
Sharing dreams of desire, we still compose
Romance in the night-

Growing never alone,
We continue to sing, dance, and laugh with the Spirit
Who guides us into the complete unknown-
Waiting to return to the infinite…

Our hearts, we freely give.
Never losing each other to
The insensitive…
Part of me is waiting for you.

 

© Sonya Rose

.

Unveil the Oblivion

March 5, 2009 § Leave a comment

Facing the unknown
Burns the very heart.
Waves pulling our lives apart.
No one comes back alone,
Never could be.
Our lives as one,
Buried in the sun-
Of a Universal Mystery.

Just pull the plug!
There’s something here.
Swept in a whirlpool of our very own fear.
Never to see God’s face…
Heaven is a better place,
A wide net
Of yet
To embrace…

And, my arms, my eyes…
The passing of our hunger.
When the forgotten dies.
How I wish—I were younger.
Our experiences unfold.
How precious is time,
A found treasure,
A great measure
Of silver and gold.

 

© Sonya Rose

Blue Fire

March 5, 2009 § 1 Comment

My memories are burned in the night.
In my mind, I took the flight of endless sight.
Flying through turbulence and smoke,
I immediately awoke.
The hour is three.
And I long to see…
What am I doing here?
My mission remains unclear.

© Sonya Rose

.

Love Somehow

March 5, 2009 § 2 Comments

Who knows love over time?
Hearts cry in open rhyme.
Birds sing in the night
As sun screams for light-
Drums relax; tempt to beat:
Together, soaring summer heat.
Winds are dancing; freely moving.
Sea between souls is grooving-
Yesterdays yearning, temptations toss:
Pages of photos become our loss.
I’m sitting by a familiar stranger.
Waiting next to him, drawn to danger.
Hands glide over two in a plane;
Windows and rain.
He now knows he must love somehow,
Again, someone new, someone now;
But, he can’t seem to find-
True love; she’s always in his mind.

 

© Sonya Rose

Truth

December 21, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

He is standing in the corner.
His face smashed against the wall.
He is being punished…
for something he did not do at all.
I hear the children laugh
and the teachers yell.
The boy cries
from living in this school of hell.
In his world of darkness,
he paints a life of pain.
Every day to him
comes pouring rain.

 

I saw him the other day,
walking down the street.
For it was I-
he was going to meet.
I shook his hand;
So glad to have met…
Face to face,
we held each other and all night wept.
My name is Truth.
And I brought the Boy Blue-
the gift of love
for his Father, too.

 

© Sonya Rose

Smiles from Heaven

December 13, 2007 § 6 Comments

A Poetic Memoir / A Page of My Life


I sometimes lift my eyes to the setting sun.
Without paints, I create while on the run.
Every thought and every move, I find…spirit in eternal sands,
wisdom in wonderlands…
gripping my heart.
The waters allow me to start-
swimming in a current thought
deep beneath its forethought…
Beyond every wave,
every breath God gave-
reigns a silent kingdom;
a peaceful medium-
inner – unrhymed,
a complete up climb.
Oh, I close my eyes;
watch how time flies…
I see a familiar face
smiling…we’re not far from this place-
Heaven…Whatever you do-
Share your dreams with someone true…
the ones who love you…
who really love you.

© Sonya Rose

Yesterday’s Run

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

Close your eyes and see…
What will set you free?
Does the wind brush your face (anymore)?
…ever so softly in a special place?-
Listening to the waves
Come closer, they all crash in lonely caves…


A vision sprung by desire…
You have walked your soul through the mire.
Try to heal your wounds from the fire.
Balance your life on the wire.


Take that chance.
Learn to dance.


Never count those years-
Move on. Fight the tears…


Lift your wings to the sky
And fly…
Towards the sun-
Farewell yesterday’s run.
Farewell…farewell…farewell…


© Sonya Rose

Secret Screams

December 13, 2007 § 2 Comments

Her thoughts
which I decided to terminate
are one-dimensional
(primary thoughts),
all positive;
but, I covered all the bases-
positive and negative.


Why don’t you make up
a life story that you never lived?


Sounds like a plan…


Your luggage never gets lost
on an imaginary journey.


Clues are helpful;
negatives are helpful.


What went wrong…
people who are lying,
wanting the perfect details-
people who are not interested
in learning anything.


So sad, so long…


She only wants to convince
everyone around her
that her actions are righteous.


People who are truthful with me-
ask and answer questions.
I’m confident about what I said:
I don’t care how
now I appear to you…
I’m more interested in you
understanding me:
My focus was internal,
from the heart and mind
of a simple woman.


Do I bring you discomfort…
knowing that I know the truth?


We are all not innocent,
Saints included.
I do not resent you:
I feel sorry for you…


A personal truth needs
to be explored further;
maybe not now, but in the future.


The guilty wants me to forget-
change the subject:
mental abuse.


Most everyone goes into battle,
verbal combat unprepared…
You can think clearly,
effectively communicate…


Two days later
after the blow-out or blow-up,
I have no guilt
on writing little truths:
I only have pain.


The bullets I fired
seem war like-
arsenal, weapons of mine
are understandable-for the future;
What about yours?


It’s showtime.


Your lies and hatred are injurious
and I had to protect…
Well, if you want to enter a battle again
with me, be well armed.
I’ve had enough.


I don’t need you by my side:
I don’t need your love.
I won’t be thinking…
of a few names much after this.


Life isn’t easy.
I didn’t cause these problems;
but, you can stop them.
You have the power
and I won’t apologize to you
because what I said…
was the truth, again…
all I would have to do-
is soothe your ego.


I’ve only touched the surface.


You thank me first
before I apologize;
so much stress…
so much left behind…
The Divide.


She will never realize
how selfish she is:
one percent of the problem.


His heart, hers
unstandable upset…
touchy situation-
could have been handled
so differently…
I never accused;
I alluded…


He isn’t being truthful
with himself.
I do not need to comfort…
or say I’m sorry-
to those cheating life.


Why do I keep on writing…
because honor is questioned
and I’m free falling into something…
nothing I’ve written about
for the original thought
was being caught off guard.


Your answers to questions
are always rehearsed…
Don’t try to defend
what everyone knows;
you can’t change
unless you’re willing…


She really misses you…
how do you swallow it and…
let it go-
like it never happened?


I have nothing to think about…
The guilty confesses…
she can be mean.


Does it make you feel good
when you scream at everyone?
Does it make you feel…
superior?


He gets off on his screams…
has an excuse for all her actions.


Making excuses…
putting stuff in little minds.
(Stay focused…)


So much hate…
(Stay focused…)


How do you hate someone that bad…
feel that much hate?-
It’s super deep, super bad
(Stay focused…)


He’s mad.
Doing what you did is one thing;
we can get past that…
but lying about it
is something that I cannot deal with,
all too harmful.


Just be honest and we’ll be able
to put this whole thing behind us…


The divide is getting wider I see.


She hides behind the veil,
grabbing for the machine guns
to shoot anyone who comes close.


I don’t want to be around
that insecurity.


Until you come clean,
it won’t be possible for you
to continue shooting here…


The situation is not right
and you know it.
Why don’t you lie some more
to people out of embarrassment,
out of fear…


Putting the hate seed in-
heads, going along with it,
just as guilty.


How do you become awake…
eliminate those blockers
that keep you from seeing
what’s really going on?


You lie the loudest
when you lie to yourself,
softly…
the event of another storm.


I hate how it sounds…
Reality never changes…
only our perception of it;
so, how do you see it?


Bullets go through me;
I’m bleeding to death…
So quickly to wind everyone up…
never to hesitate once
you jump right away into the war.


Are you motivated to avoid pain
or you desire to gain pleasure…?


I’m slowly bleeding…
I’m losing sight…
are you-
of the personal truths…
out of anger and ignorance?


It is simple…
my benefit outweighs … lying.


Once, he finds out who he is-
who will comfort him: the coward?-
Under the influence of fear…


When I started writing…
I looked infront of me, inside me…
so many bullet holes…


Can you see the light now
shining inside of me?


Your judgment maybe-
impaired.


Somewhere out there … someone
is crying really hard; I’m bleeding…
You can’t make sense of it:
Don’t try.


I hear the screams…
all silent…
pain buried in faces…
so deep inside.
No one knows …
where they belong exactly-
their place in the world,
for where they are they don’t wish to be…


Somewhere out there
a mother loves her children so much…
and they don’t realize
or take the time to look within hearts…
Many mothers like this
and history repeats itself all over again
like it did centuries ago.


Cherish the good;
but, learn from your mistakes.
I have and didn’t even know I was making them.


Now, I’ve come, too, see more of the truth…
Go … go on … go on … and get buried-
he says to me.


Our families will never heal until…


…to forgive is not always easy.
How many more secrets…?
let’s shove more in the closet-
until it explodes.


From the outside, it’s beautifully white…
How dark inside…
how very dark.


I don’t mind dying…
there is always pain before birth.

 

© Sonya Rose

Water Mask

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

“Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.” – W.H. Arden

 

Visions arrive and voices survive
Magical minds will never die.
In dim lit dimensions, I dive-
Days of divinity, shut-eye


Liquefy lines, light reflects
Antique hero, City of steel
Sunsets bleed, cinema connects-
The reality of my rustic reel

Raining hard, lightning’s black

Obscurity in a blue intuitive splash
Pleading with purpose, sinking back
Breathless, sparkling, orange-white flash


Follow me through a screen of leaves
Daring for dangers, serious face of Ocean
Body opens, lower part, make-believes
The Iron Gate swings in constant motion

Handle heavy, hidden in my hand

Sinking with treasures, treading thieves
On Broadway, banging my head, stand
Logic leans low, dawn of red reefs


White sound of keys, hearts lock
Zinc and copper in hair of Venus, she’ll
Wait in the womb, girls of gridlock
Rings of rows, distant dreams, surreal

Written in my eye, equations, multiply

On rainbow stain-glass, first cut, never fear
Love escapes cut-and-dry, pointless lullaby
And fills the sky with despair in hemisphere


Strange languages, pattern of the land
Grey brick buildings, flowing rhythm above
Fallen masters, wrestlers boxing on sand
I swam again from cycles of longing, love


Broken fences, empty houses, crying lambs
Shadows of the tempest, giant phony things
Beautiful bodies form holograms
Harmony kisses away the soft black rings


My irises are green, that awkward grin
Lips touch my cheeks, try to break-free
Surrender and laugh, all the children live-in
A circuit, freedom in a bright color movie

Energy disappears, losing minds, mudflow

Reflections in black and white, one race
Heavenly music glides past so slow
Dancing in costumes as refugees in space


The final girl without a name
Ego laughs, tricksters trespass, all the same
Swimming through temples, mysteries overcame
Barriers, the ascent from brothers of blame

Climbing stairs without steps, principal parts see

The pattern onstage hitting the mark of lies
Upon the making of a moment’s mystery
Bathing my eyes in cold water and slowly rise


Surrender to the surface, a silent screen star
Savage eyes rush to record so to remind
Beauty without meaning, you are
Sleeping immortality, spirituality will find

My soul below water and I anxiously ask-

Fate, will you embrace me without the mask…

 

© Sonya Rose

 

In response to My Story found on The Remembering Site

The Jacarda Blues

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

The Jacaranda Tree lives within me;
A fantasy, I become a planted city.
You say “How pretty, the colors of thee.”
I agree it’s a mystery, the only hue I see.
Oh, how I wish to be free; what I desire to be…
Below me, there is a man on bended knee;
I don’t know for sure if he holds the key-


To turn the wooden lock of my purple tree…
Like the dark days of the deep-sea,
Never to blink, eyes frozen in eternity…
And with a long, strong stare of you-and-me
My trumpets fall, hearts-free
Never to finish my biography
And speak of The Smile of Rosemarie


So, who wears my rounded crown, he or she?
Can there be three…carefree
Days to last…hey come look-see
I’m now low-key and a humble-bee
Flies fortunately with a sip of my honey…
And with the love for money; hey, I’m no dummy-
We all want something yummy in our tummy.


But, isn’t it funny…
How the blues blossom when it’s sunny?

 

© Sonya Rose

Peace Soldier

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

Dying, slowly changed-
you. Faiths exchanged
for Hope.
Examine under a microscope,
All is rearranged


Circles, shapes of a soul,
no start or finish, a loophole,
complete in its entire,
with energy, befalls a bonfire.
Your life is whole,


piece by piece,
a dream, a masterpiece;
What the Master weaves-
a miracle conceives
a child of peace.

 

© Sonya Rose

Streaming Summer

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

Zero and Zeal, poets in motion-

Drawn to nature, love the ocean.

Taste the salt from my hand.

Melt in castles made of sand.

Skies on fire, wings of ice-

Break on high, fall like dice.

In the ocean, swept to shore-

Dead fish will dance once more.

Dance, dance, dance, ring upon ring-

A broken dance with a Fisher King-

Dance upon water; dance upon sand.

Dance to life. Feel your hand-

Through the dune, one-to-one,

If I can’t fly, then I will run.

To the rise of another place-

How the sun freely dissolved your face.

 

© Sonya Rose

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing the poetry archive category at Poetry Muse.