Love Sky Nearby

May 28, 2011 § 1 Comment

When I look deep into the beautiful blue sky,
I ask, “Why? … Why? … Oh, God, why?”
Why do we all have to die?
Oh, my… (I say this with a sigh)
Someday…
Sometimes, I just don’t know what to say
when someone has cancer. Now how-to breakthrough
and win this battle, too…
It isn’t easy, but sharing a day like this…
I sure wouldn’t want to miss.
It feels so good inside…
to have no fear, say if I died—
tomorrow… My love will go on
in all the day-glo.
This I know—
because Love tells me so.

..I enjoy writing Carpe Diem “Seize the Day” poems. More so since being diagnosed with node-positive Breast Cancer. I was very fortunate to have received a dream of warning: A big bosom lady appeared to me in my dream one early January morning. Gave me the strong message to get checked now! Don’t wait one more day.

My cancer went under the radar of Breast GYN/self-exams and mammograms (found in an ultrasound/biopsy @Pink Lotus Breast Center/MRI @Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in LA). I was given my final diagnosis (ILC–Invasive Lobular Carcinoma; LCIS, DCIS grade III, BRCA2+) during the world-wide festival of “St. Agatha of Sicily” (Catania), Patron Saint of Breast Cancer.

My cancer tumor was cut out following—the reports—Valentine’s Day.

“Love Sky Nearby” was written on the top of my head the day before Earth Day/Easter weekend. The images were filmed on what would have been my wedding day [4.8.2011]. That’s been postponed until I finish my chemotherapy treatments… further undergo bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and reconstruction.

This poem is a very simple one, but one that I can only hope—most around the world could relate to—especially when it comes to just wanting to “really” live for the day… as if it’s endless like the sky. And to be able to share it with the ones we love, well… is more than words could say.

I wish you all the best on your journey. And, most importantly, enjoy your day wherever you are…

 

Please visit me @ CaringBridge:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sonyarose

Soulmate

March 6, 2009 § 1 Comment

Can you see me?
How tall am I?
Can you foresee?
Lifelong company.
Multiply.
Can you see me?
Eyes of the sea-
Lips draw nigh.
Can you foresee?
A ring on thee-
Reply.
Can you see me?
Body in harmony-
The universal eye-
Can you foresee?
Miracles of three-
Descending to unify.
Can you see me?
Can you foresee?

 

© Sonya Rose

Blue Fire

March 5, 2009 § 1 Comment

My memories are burned in the night.
In my mind, I took the flight of endless sight.
Flying through turbulence and smoke,
I immediately awoke.
The hour is three.
And I long to see…
What am I doing here?
My mission remains unclear.

© Sonya Rose

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Secret Screams

December 13, 2007 § 2 Comments

Her thoughts
which I decided to terminate
are one-dimensional
(primary thoughts),
all positive;
but, I covered all the bases-
positive and negative.


Why don’t you make up
a life story that you never lived?


Sounds like a plan…


Your luggage never gets lost
on an imaginary journey.


Clues are helpful;
negatives are helpful.


What went wrong…
people who are lying,
wanting the perfect details-
people who are not interested
in learning anything.


So sad, so long…


She only wants to convince
everyone around her
that her actions are righteous.


People who are truthful with me-
ask and answer questions.
I’m confident about what I said:
I don’t care how
now I appear to you…
I’m more interested in you
understanding me:
My focus was internal,
from the heart and mind
of a simple woman.


Do I bring you discomfort…
knowing that I know the truth?


We are all not innocent,
Saints included.
I do not resent you:
I feel sorry for you…


A personal truth needs
to be explored further;
maybe not now, but in the future.


The guilty wants me to forget-
change the subject:
mental abuse.


Most everyone goes into battle,
verbal combat unprepared…
You can think clearly,
effectively communicate…


Two days later
after the blow-out or blow-up,
I have no guilt
on writing little truths:
I only have pain.


The bullets I fired
seem war like-
arsenal, weapons of mine
are understandable-for the future;
What about yours?


It’s showtime.


Your lies and hatred are injurious
and I had to protect…
Well, if you want to enter a battle again
with me, be well armed.
I’ve had enough.


I don’t need you by my side:
I don’t need your love.
I won’t be thinking…
of a few names much after this.


Life isn’t easy.
I didn’t cause these problems;
but, you can stop them.
You have the power
and I won’t apologize to you
because what I said…
was the truth, again…
all I would have to do-
is soothe your ego.


I’ve only touched the surface.


You thank me first
before I apologize;
so much stress…
so much left behind…
The Divide.


She will never realize
how selfish she is:
one percent of the problem.


His heart, hers
unstandable upset…
touchy situation-
could have been handled
so differently…
I never accused;
I alluded…


He isn’t being truthful
with himself.
I do not need to comfort…
or say I’m sorry-
to those cheating life.


Why do I keep on writing…
because honor is questioned
and I’m free falling into something…
nothing I’ve written about
for the original thought
was being caught off guard.


Your answers to questions
are always rehearsed…
Don’t try to defend
what everyone knows;
you can’t change
unless you’re willing…


She really misses you…
how do you swallow it and…
let it go-
like it never happened?


I have nothing to think about…
The guilty confesses…
she can be mean.


Does it make you feel good
when you scream at everyone?
Does it make you feel…
superior?


He gets off on his screams…
has an excuse for all her actions.


Making excuses…
putting stuff in little minds.
(Stay focused…)


So much hate…
(Stay focused…)


How do you hate someone that bad…
feel that much hate?-
It’s super deep, super bad
(Stay focused…)


He’s mad.
Doing what you did is one thing;
we can get past that…
but lying about it
is something that I cannot deal with,
all too harmful.


Just be honest and we’ll be able
to put this whole thing behind us…


The divide is getting wider I see.


She hides behind the veil,
grabbing for the machine guns
to shoot anyone who comes close.


I don’t want to be around
that insecurity.


Until you come clean,
it won’t be possible for you
to continue shooting here…


The situation is not right
and you know it.
Why don’t you lie some more
to people out of embarrassment,
out of fear…


Putting the hate seed in-
heads, going along with it,
just as guilty.


How do you become awake…
eliminate those blockers
that keep you from seeing
what’s really going on?


You lie the loudest
when you lie to yourself,
softly…
the event of another storm.


I hate how it sounds…
Reality never changes…
only our perception of it;
so, how do you see it?


Bullets go through me;
I’m bleeding to death…
So quickly to wind everyone up…
never to hesitate once
you jump right away into the war.


Are you motivated to avoid pain
or you desire to gain pleasure…?


I’m slowly bleeding…
I’m losing sight…
are you-
of the personal truths…
out of anger and ignorance?


It is simple…
my benefit outweighs … lying.


Once, he finds out who he is-
who will comfort him: the coward?-
Under the influence of fear…


When I started writing…
I looked infront of me, inside me…
so many bullet holes…


Can you see the light now
shining inside of me?


Your judgment maybe-
impaired.


Somewhere out there … someone
is crying really hard; I’m bleeding…
You can’t make sense of it:
Don’t try.


I hear the screams…
all silent…
pain buried in faces…
so deep inside.
No one knows …
where they belong exactly-
their place in the world,
for where they are they don’t wish to be…


Somewhere out there
a mother loves her children so much…
and they don’t realize
or take the time to look within hearts…
Many mothers like this
and history repeats itself all over again
like it did centuries ago.


Cherish the good;
but, learn from your mistakes.
I have and didn’t even know I was making them.


Now, I’ve come, too, see more of the truth…
Go … go on … go on … and get buried-
he says to me.


Our families will never heal until…


…to forgive is not always easy.
How many more secrets…?
let’s shove more in the closet-
until it explodes.


From the outside, it’s beautifully white…
How dark inside…
how very dark.


I don’t mind dying…
there is always pain before birth.

 

© Sonya Rose

Water Mask

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

“Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.” – W.H. Arden

 

Visions arrive and voices survive
Magical minds will never die.
In dim lit dimensions, I dive-
Days of divinity, shut-eye


Liquefy lines, light reflects
Antique hero, City of steel
Sunsets bleed, cinema connects-
The reality of my rustic reel

Raining hard, lightning’s black

Obscurity in a blue intuitive splash
Pleading with purpose, sinking back
Breathless, sparkling, orange-white flash


Follow me through a screen of leaves
Daring for dangers, serious face of Ocean
Body opens, lower part, make-believes
The Iron Gate swings in constant motion

Handle heavy, hidden in my hand

Sinking with treasures, treading thieves
On Broadway, banging my head, stand
Logic leans low, dawn of red reefs


White sound of keys, hearts lock
Zinc and copper in hair of Venus, she’ll
Wait in the womb, girls of gridlock
Rings of rows, distant dreams, surreal

Written in my eye, equations, multiply

On rainbow stain-glass, first cut, never fear
Love escapes cut-and-dry, pointless lullaby
And fills the sky with despair in hemisphere


Strange languages, pattern of the land
Grey brick buildings, flowing rhythm above
Fallen masters, wrestlers boxing on sand
I swam again from cycles of longing, love


Broken fences, empty houses, crying lambs
Shadows of the tempest, giant phony things
Beautiful bodies form holograms
Harmony kisses away the soft black rings


My irises are green, that awkward grin
Lips touch my cheeks, try to break-free
Surrender and laugh, all the children live-in
A circuit, freedom in a bright color movie

Energy disappears, losing minds, mudflow

Reflections in black and white, one race
Heavenly music glides past so slow
Dancing in costumes as refugees in space


The final girl without a name
Ego laughs, tricksters trespass, all the same
Swimming through temples, mysteries overcame
Barriers, the ascent from brothers of blame

Climbing stairs without steps, principal parts see

The pattern onstage hitting the mark of lies
Upon the making of a moment’s mystery
Bathing my eyes in cold water and slowly rise


Surrender to the surface, a silent screen star
Savage eyes rush to record so to remind
Beauty without meaning, you are
Sleeping immortality, spirituality will find

My soul below water and I anxiously ask-

Fate, will you embrace me without the mask…

 

© Sonya Rose

 

In response to My Story found on The Remembering Site

Seized by Forests

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

I’m playing darts to the sound of crickets

In a wilderness of dark faces, unfamiliar places;

I sink into midnight, urban thickets-

The storm has ceased. The moon paces…

Shoots with a bow candlesticks

Into my heart, a stranger sits with wicks. Besides-

His handful of burning matchsticks…

He waits for someone. He is patient. He hides.

To the right, another woman stands

Holding the wind, she is silent.

Sings only for a moment in distant lands

Between the present and the colors meant

For her mind; the voice behind

Her soul, dances, takes chances in

White silence, three feathers under masks, the mind

Reveal cathedrals painted in purple tin

Thrown through lots, he lets go; no heartbeat…

Melting on matchbooks, my eyes are burning bittersweet…

There are galaxies inside, shadows of fire,

Fog and crystal; Life is spreading higher…

I am seized by this angry forest, and welding it

Into the exact moment I see fit

To spell your name in candle wax made of twilight

My body is a metamorphosis in the feverish night

I kissed you only once, darker than any pleasure

You are dreaming yourself into a great measure

Of dust spinning a tale of our hunger; the superhighway’s

Threading gold and reveals beings who glow in the Milky Way…

The all seeing-eye trees and the transparent fruits spark

Into breath, into streams of art, beneath the buried bark, the dark.

I will survive pulling stars out of the earth that rise

Upward through your face, your obscure race, reflecting eternal ties…

 

© Sonya Rose

Mangrove Hunters

December 2, 2007 § Leave a comment

Running through the open air
The sound of laughter, me
Things in common with three
Matches of eleven, dozen rare
One state pregnant, identity
The market instructors are
Married in the bathroom minute high
Some want lonely nights
At the B, some still want me
Real some
Forwarding advice
There’s sad
In singular, nick’s in nice
His baby girl, who rolls the dice
In the subway with mice
Carries a book by Sam
Of baseball homeruns
She is unrecognizable as the glam slam
Her strikes-outs are plenty-plentiful runs
The octopus swimming in her head
At 6:20 am
The stone on my ring, its mayhem
Monday morning, awake without a bed
Dream wizard writes like the Who
The lady in the other building turns blue
Falls into her telescope
A witness to eagles without hope
And little elephants crawl everywhere
Without mothers and fathers who
Grow up without eyes to see fair
Their elections of hormones to
Their shaking, let go of the chain
In the mangroves, the link, acid-rain
Bitten by mother earth hunters and mosquitoes
The skiers in the race of fertility knows
Is ceasing; diversity and riches
What’s covered in ditches…

 

© Sonya Rose

My Name, Nonviolence

December 2, 2007 § 1 Comment

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this walked the earth in flesh and blood.” –Albert Einstein about Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


I am not an example of perfection.
Evolving, I am coping with the situation.
I feel helpless, face my humanization.
Revenge, impatience, and anger:
Their destroyer is their creator’s mission-
Be careful of their presence.

You may feel helpless and tense-

When surrounding your home is danger.
Stay in tune, you are no stranger.
I am the seeker, the truth, behold-
I crawl through the eye of gold.
And witness my failing changer.

Violent energy is generating-

Among the masses, and I
On my pursuit to a common cry-
Am stopped by the Prince
Who is leaving his state, hating.
Unleashing his man-eating dogs…

The atmosphere radically clogs

Can you help me rinse?
A court disaster, to convince…
Events around me, I cannot…
I will light a flame to spot
Your face; please find me…since

Your internal strife must cease

Before it ceases you-
Into the religion sectors’ hue
Composing their differences, lying…
Let love release.
Erase the minds of congressmen.

Mutual jealousy, desirable power again…

To rule the world when spirits are crying
Voices are speaking to me…terrifying
What can I do? I spell disaster, for the press-
Struggling in independent access…
Can you lead a movement when you’re dying?

Requires great strength, it seems,

And resolution, so express yourself
Now in this hour of myself
Your skin-deep nature to construct
A program, “Independence of Dreams”
Do you see the centre of responsibility?

Eating up a large percentage of hostility-

Inhibit your rightful aspirations, deconstruct
You have lost; have you found? Reconstruct-
My thoughts and my words, worldview
May I excite and detoxify you?
Your struggles will never cease, destruct.

If you don’t have me in your life,

Then you will lack strength and energy
Your ideal freedom is your heart, me.
Keep the fruits of my being,
An experiment is unfolding: True-life.
So pursue honesty with all your heart…

Direct…redirect the wrong
Into my net of being strong.


© Sonya Rose


Infallible Ideas

December 2, 2007 § Leave a comment

Go unnoticed.

Pass through

a crowd.

A ghost of blue

parts to the sea

in emotion;

Dreams free

in motion,

dissolving in heat.

Noises distract-

thoughts complete.

Go and interact

in other’s domain.

Flutter your ideas

through muddy grains-

a world of panaceas.

 

© Sonya Rose

Ice Queen

December 2, 2007 § Leave a comment

“…you called my name and love was born…” – Depeche Mode

 

I know she is there exposed;
Her orchestrations are vibrant and composed,
Resurrecting far from the hardened earth; the ocean knows…
She is there; he breaks through a warming wind in plainclothes.
The sky even knows she is there; toys with light, clouds exposed.

An artist’s eyes open; galleries of lives have closed.
I could feel her in the syncopation of the concert; diagnosed…
Dmitri’s throat in Rachmaninoff’s “The Dream” as she rose…
I know she is there exposed;

With playful grace, something inviting flows; disclosed…
In channels of motion the sormed of the pianist are exposed.
His strumming hands and measured breaths propose…
To the pleasures of having dreams traipse in my nightclothes.
The suspense swings from future photos overexposed.
I know she is there exposed;

I cannot let the morning arise without will.
The time of sleep is over yet I am sleeping still.
She moves me through pale curtains as I write-in-
A newfound lover who whispers her mystery again:
Should I slumber she will wake me with freewill.

She will entice me through a polluted windowsill.
And I will honor her by dreaming the unreal.
What more could she ask that I would so freely let-in?
I cannot let the morning arise without will.

Bowed string and breath-blown reed, sound waves fill…
A symphony of wind; my ashes in earthly perfections kill…
My thoughts; the ghost of her drinks the darkness all-in.
Grounds made ready for an artful gaze; now, I feel her within.
Overtaken by the secret rituals of sleeping in winter-kill:
I cannot let the morning arise without will.

 

© Sonya Rose

Spaces Between

November 18, 2007 § Leave a comment

dreams encounter
an overlapping period
of space

 

© Sonya Rose

Divine Intelligence

October 21, 2007 § 2 Comments


The Divine is open, the wise one and famed.
The meaning meant nothing once, now something to me.
I thank my female ancestors, who created my ESP,
Nourished my people and protected the earth with magic.
A part of every friend’s culture when rituals were named.
They healed, summoned, assisted, and tracked every birth.
Knowing the secrets of everything on earth,
The powers of the moon, and the longings of the sick,
They created language, writing, art, and arithmetic.
Their ceremonies and prayers for another
Became one with the source of life; Great Mother
Of all living things, the light of my candlestick
Master storytellers of the ancient myth; they write-down
The omens…passed the gods and goddesses for me down

Many truths come as I talk to the moon.
I am told my knowledge is ancient of the worldview…
And made to remember the truth about creation stew…
I share the same life force with my sisters, the earth, and men.
My soul’s ageless wisdom will survive this given afternoon.
Going back to Genesis through poetry, music, and dance…
Man in our image and likeness, women at a glance.
Center of my being, the secret of who I am-
Connection with the universe with a mind of Zen
My ancestors wondered and worshiped meaning.
They say all religion is about the earth, its greening.
The Graces gave me a mysterious transformation:
In dreams, they showed me how things grow and die;
Reborn into a woman, Lady in the Moon and I

Can conceive a new life and give birth,
Bleed with the phases of the moon vast…
Ancient men threatened my life and took my past.
I have found Venus in 35,000 BCE
A man in the distance said I was the source of worth.
I danced, flew, and shared my all with the wild kingdom.
The Great Moon Goddess, her female trinity outcome-
Spells and rituals performed with phases of her three
Special powers teach the Divine Intelligence decree.
Dominating our thoughts for several thousand years
Until the male Sky Gods became the deity of male fears
Reigning with the power of the sun, with He-
He challenged the older goddess of the sun and moon,
And she became villain, a private in a patriarchal platoon.

The many old tales were rewritten in blinking.
Did Eve create Adam and make him her mate?
Eve is the Mother of All Living who liberates
Life and women, I am a woman; I am life.
Mythology drifted further away from original thinking-
A struggle between forces of evil and good
Rather than a dynamic dance of all things for good; could
Lives on earth become less important than the life to come?
Cleanliness is next to Godliness, all its sum
Who reflected the image of the divine Feminine?
Dirty and impure leader living in another mortal’s sin
A curious thing happened to the Father Gods outcome
As they degraded the earth, woman, the body;
Everyone had trouble finding joy was somewhere to-be.

Warrior classes’ raped the female mind in camp concentrate
Starved the mysterious bodies by force, weapons and the whore-
My league of women and children were amongst the war,
Brutally raped and held prisoner, the slave fantasies of when
Men emerged socially and economically; politically dominate.
Laws and values reflected the myth of the superior male
Warfare was based on a violent, this militaristic trail
On the dawn of the New Age, women had regained the lost gen.
The earth and her creatures now are in deep peril for the chosen-
Many must hold hands on the great merging range.
Through ancient knowledge, can we come together and make the change?
Nothing should go unnoticed ever again.
Nothing should be forgotten, not one name.

We weave our webs at birth; at death we are self-same.

 

© Sonya Rose

The Dream of the Mighty Oak Tree

October 21, 2007 § Leave a comment

[a.k.a. “Tree of Wisdom”]

In the silence of this room,
I hear the echo of birth…
thunder and lightening of earth;
A mighty tree mounts in womb.

To the depths of his roots…
to the face of his bark…
touch his bare branches; Mark~
signs of life bear good fruits.

The shape of inner being:
the roots, trunk, branches, and leaves~
a world of Adam and Eves…
Are we capable of seeing?

Unaware, immortal tree,
wise in numbers…breathe fresh air~
Chopping down life, results bear…
Common rebirth, think…Trustee.

Tall and well-spaced harmony~
maturing, mistletoe of the Oak…
Out of a dream, my senses awoke
with an understanding kiss from thee.

 

© Sonya Rose

My Oasis

October 19, 2007 § 2 Comments

More beautiful than the sound of a kiss in air
Is the voice of past…the present must I part?
The grace of Charis, so fair…
Was she to wed Hephaistos whose heart-

Belonged to Aphrodite
In every feast of the gods?
Became a trilogy of my sisters and me
My father Apollo gave us dancer bods.

We radiate with joy
When our fruits are plenty-
I hold the rose of Troy.
My sisters tie myrtle and dice to free

Love circling in cages
Weaving together our clothes…
Fluttering, butter wax pages
Link a sweet union and grows

Out of girly gates built low
Standing over a shadowy hill,
I draw my golden bow.
Head to lead the dance of grace not kill.

Who kills my spirit, my soul?
I bend my head.
Whose life is cruel
Earthly love escapes my bed-

And follows me in dreams
Where my sisters hold hands.
The sound of the world turning seems…
To form every journey of ours in black sands-

The closer that I come to the realization
Of destiny tangled in faces and places…
The more difficult, a natural revelation
Courage taken into the morning of one oasis…

 

© Sonya Rose

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