Love Sky Nearby

May 28, 2011 § 1 Comment

When I look deep into the beautiful blue sky,
I ask, “Why? … Why? … Oh, God, why?”
Why do we all have to die?
Oh, my… (I say this with a sigh)
Someday…
Sometimes, I just don’t know what to say
when someone has cancer. Now how-to breakthrough
and win this battle, too…
It isn’t easy, but sharing a day like this…
I sure wouldn’t want to miss.
It feels so good inside…
to have no fear, say if I died—
tomorrow… My love will go on
in all the day-glo.
This I know—
because Love tells me so.

..I enjoy writing Carpe Diem “Seize the Day” poems. More so since being diagnosed with node-positive Breast Cancer. I was very fortunate to have received a dream of warning: A big bosom lady appeared to me in my dream one early January morning. Gave me the strong message to get checked now! Don’t wait one more day.

My cancer went under the radar of Breast GYN/self-exams and mammograms (found in an ultrasound/biopsy @Pink Lotus Breast Center/MRI @Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in LA). I was given my final diagnosis (ILC–Invasive Lobular Carcinoma; LCIS, DCIS grade III, BRCA2+) during the world-wide festival of “St. Agatha of Sicily” (Catania), Patron Saint of Breast Cancer.

My cancer tumor was cut out following—the reports—Valentine’s Day.

“Love Sky Nearby” was written on the top of my head the day before Earth Day/Easter weekend. The images were filmed on what would have been my wedding day [4.8.2011]. That’s been postponed until I finish my chemotherapy treatments… further undergo bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and reconstruction.

This poem is a very simple one, but one that I can only hope—most around the world could relate to—especially when it comes to just wanting to “really” live for the day… as if it’s endless like the sky. And to be able to share it with the ones we love, well… is more than words could say.

I wish you all the best on your journey. And, most importantly, enjoy your day wherever you are…

 

Please visit me @ CaringBridge:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sonyarose

Valley Heart

April 20, 2009 § 2 Comments

In honor of National Poetry Month, I give my free flowing poetic thoughts and aspirations; tapping into Mother Earth [our natural and spiritual life] during troubled times [in America and across the world]. 

Bring your drifting thoughts, too, back into focus by walking in nature: It’s a great way to reinvigorate yourself and gain perspective. 

Mother Earth sends her light and love into all of us this Earth Day and everyday. I can appreciate her better and all her benefits, as my own mother. 

If you are a soul searcher, like I am, there are great places to go—which offer big answers to your questions—that can help you better understand your current situation(s), or simply give you a new sense of direction, especially when you begin (re)thinking about your purpose, your connection…

 

 

 

VALLEY HEART 

Is there some one you know like you, just to touch?
Have you found yet a new place that you love so much-
that you won’t stop loving?

A place like someone special is not that easy to forget.
A place—a person, now is it?

I see you can’t take your eyes off-
The Valley of Fire;
I know—I cant.
It’s burning inside of me.

See a moment like this—becomes you. You-
know the moment: You are the moment.
A wonderful moment when fate takes your hand-
and makes you feel like…smiling…makes you feel, well, almost like crying…

So destiny calls and makes- 
you do great things! I bet you don’t even realize them all or just how special you truly are!

And, as my day comes to an end,
I will give thanks for it all—whatever that may be…
Well, just being alive is enough-
in the setting sun!
Yes, a sweet, setting sun keeps my dreams alive:
They are peaceful dreams.

…I stand and wait and still…I wait. Your eyes are-
just amazing; They are brightly beaming. 

Everyday I am-
lost in this valley of dreams;
Just you and I and-
the fire sky, a heavenly breeze,
a kiss on my face, how you come to me-
so tenderly in this beautiful light.
God, you are so beautiful.

What did you say? 

I see…

Well, if you must leave…
I’ll see you someday.
I promise, my Eagle friend.
Tonight I’ll just lay my head upon a rock-
and dream until the breaking of day…a day that will seem to last forever. 

But even in this night—there’s still a light:
There’s still a hope inside my heart that lets me say:
I will hold on till then-
and I will see you again.

I will see you again.
This isn’t the end
You’re my forever friend-
and I will see you ‘for sure’ again.

Good night.

 

[In Honor of Nat’l Poetry Month] – MySpace Blog

Visionary

March 6, 2009 § 6 Comments

In silence, a poet is born.
A new life in the universe
Emerges
Dreaming in light.
A soul awakens
To creation, whose eyes
Reflect the unknown.

 

© Sonya Rose

River Journey

December 21, 2008 § 4 Comments

 

Sweet chariot, I am going home.
Walk in the shadows with me,
River Journey…
I must roam
barefoot with company.
Sweet chariot, I am going home,
passing through the gates of Rome,
to the Garden of Gethsemane,
River Journey…
In silence, lies ohm.
In this state, I am free.
Sweet chariot, I am going home.
The ocean’s foam
washes on my feet, a light debris,
River Journey…
I see a dome
above the living tree.
Sweet chariot, I am going home.
River Journey…

 

© Sonya Rose

God’s Gift

December 21, 2008 § 1 Comment

Every morning, I rise to a canvas, snow-white.
A new experience awaits.
I vision a rainbow of light,
become as a little child who creates.

I am looking at art
though hands of a miracle,
to the center of my heart,
to the depths of my soul.

Taught by the Greatest Teacher,
I listen in silence…
Draw from every feature:
Perfection, Rebirth, and Innocence.

Presented a palette to paint the Prince of Peace,
I stand before the Divine’s greatest masterpiece.

© Sonya Rose

The Hurricane and The Rainbow

December 21, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

One night, my house was blown away
by a hurricane on the night I forgot to pray.
In the morning, I was lost and never me.
Searching for my place, I lost my will at sea.
What kept me from drowning—was the warmth of the sun.
I stretched out my arms to hold someone.
It was the arms of hope that helped me
and the hands of faith that made me see-
on a journey of joy and ecstasy.
Looking back at shore, I ran alongside many lovers.
Some ahead I will slowly discover:
There is no holding back today.
Love is free, free to find a way-
to set its pace and ride with destiny.
And soon, my strength of being free-
will collapse from this run
and cling onto the sun.
I’ll drop on a rainbow and lie down to die.
Look for me in the starry sky.
The colors of my heart, the vision of a rainbow…
My love remains forever, even as I go.

 

© Sonya Rose

Meditation

December 21, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

If everyone will close your eyes
and say to the world your goodbyes
to hate, crime, and greed.
Take this moment to plant a seed
of love, light, and laughter,
what your soul is after…

 

To vision the color of blue…
Nirvana is inside of you.

 

© Sonya Rose

Smiles from Heaven

December 13, 2007 § 6 Comments

A Poetic Memoir / A Page of My Life


I sometimes lift my eyes to the setting sun.
Without paints, I create while on the run.
Every thought and every move, I find…spirit in eternal sands,
wisdom in wonderlands…
gripping my heart.
The waters allow me to start-
swimming in a current thought
deep beneath its forethought…
Beyond every wave,
every breath God gave-
reigns a silent kingdom;
a peaceful medium-
inner – unrhymed,
a complete up climb.
Oh, I close my eyes;
watch how time flies…
I see a familiar face
smiling…we’re not far from this place-
Heaven…Whatever you do-
Share your dreams with someone true…
the ones who love you…
who really love you.

© Sonya Rose

Yesterday’s Run

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

Close your eyes and see…
What will set you free?
Does the wind brush your face (anymore)?
…ever so softly in a special place?-
Listening to the waves
Come closer, they all crash in lonely caves…


A vision sprung by desire…
You have walked your soul through the mire.
Try to heal your wounds from the fire.
Balance your life on the wire.


Take that chance.
Learn to dance.


Never count those years-
Move on. Fight the tears…


Lift your wings to the sky
And fly…
Towards the sun-
Farewell yesterday’s run.
Farewell…farewell…farewell…


© Sonya Rose

Secret Screams

December 13, 2007 § 2 Comments

Her thoughts
which I decided to terminate
are one-dimensional
(primary thoughts),
all positive;
but, I covered all the bases-
positive and negative.


Why don’t you make up
a life story that you never lived?


Sounds like a plan…


Your luggage never gets lost
on an imaginary journey.


Clues are helpful;
negatives are helpful.


What went wrong…
people who are lying,
wanting the perfect details-
people who are not interested
in learning anything.


So sad, so long…


She only wants to convince
everyone around her
that her actions are righteous.


People who are truthful with me-
ask and answer questions.
I’m confident about what I said:
I don’t care how
now I appear to you…
I’m more interested in you
understanding me:
My focus was internal,
from the heart and mind
of a simple woman.


Do I bring you discomfort…
knowing that I know the truth?


We are all not innocent,
Saints included.
I do not resent you:
I feel sorry for you…


A personal truth needs
to be explored further;
maybe not now, but in the future.


The guilty wants me to forget-
change the subject:
mental abuse.


Most everyone goes into battle,
verbal combat unprepared…
You can think clearly,
effectively communicate…


Two days later
after the blow-out or blow-up,
I have no guilt
on writing little truths:
I only have pain.


The bullets I fired
seem war like-
arsenal, weapons of mine
are understandable-for the future;
What about yours?


It’s showtime.


Your lies and hatred are injurious
and I had to protect…
Well, if you want to enter a battle again
with me, be well armed.
I’ve had enough.


I don’t need you by my side:
I don’t need your love.
I won’t be thinking…
of a few names much after this.


Life isn’t easy.
I didn’t cause these problems;
but, you can stop them.
You have the power
and I won’t apologize to you
because what I said…
was the truth, again…
all I would have to do-
is soothe your ego.


I’ve only touched the surface.


You thank me first
before I apologize;
so much stress…
so much left behind…
The Divide.


She will never realize
how selfish she is:
one percent of the problem.


His heart, hers
unstandable upset…
touchy situation-
could have been handled
so differently…
I never accused;
I alluded…


He isn’t being truthful
with himself.
I do not need to comfort…
or say I’m sorry-
to those cheating life.


Why do I keep on writing…
because honor is questioned
and I’m free falling into something…
nothing I’ve written about
for the original thought
was being caught off guard.


Your answers to questions
are always rehearsed…
Don’t try to defend
what everyone knows;
you can’t change
unless you’re willing…


She really misses you…
how do you swallow it and…
let it go-
like it never happened?


I have nothing to think about…
The guilty confesses…
she can be mean.


Does it make you feel good
when you scream at everyone?
Does it make you feel…
superior?


He gets off on his screams…
has an excuse for all her actions.


Making excuses…
putting stuff in little minds.
(Stay focused…)


So much hate…
(Stay focused…)


How do you hate someone that bad…
feel that much hate?-
It’s super deep, super bad
(Stay focused…)


He’s mad.
Doing what you did is one thing;
we can get past that…
but lying about it
is something that I cannot deal with,
all too harmful.


Just be honest and we’ll be able
to put this whole thing behind us…


The divide is getting wider I see.


She hides behind the veil,
grabbing for the machine guns
to shoot anyone who comes close.


I don’t want to be around
that insecurity.


Until you come clean,
it won’t be possible for you
to continue shooting here…


The situation is not right
and you know it.
Why don’t you lie some more
to people out of embarrassment,
out of fear…


Putting the hate seed in-
heads, going along with it,
just as guilty.


How do you become awake…
eliminate those blockers
that keep you from seeing
what’s really going on?


You lie the loudest
when you lie to yourself,
softly…
the event of another storm.


I hate how it sounds…
Reality never changes…
only our perception of it;
so, how do you see it?


Bullets go through me;
I’m bleeding to death…
So quickly to wind everyone up…
never to hesitate once
you jump right away into the war.


Are you motivated to avoid pain
or you desire to gain pleasure…?


I’m slowly bleeding…
I’m losing sight…
are you-
of the personal truths…
out of anger and ignorance?


It is simple…
my benefit outweighs … lying.


Once, he finds out who he is-
who will comfort him: the coward?-
Under the influence of fear…


When I started writing…
I looked infront of me, inside me…
so many bullet holes…


Can you see the light now
shining inside of me?


Your judgment maybe-
impaired.


Somewhere out there … someone
is crying really hard; I’m bleeding…
You can’t make sense of it:
Don’t try.


I hear the screams…
all silent…
pain buried in faces…
so deep inside.
No one knows …
where they belong exactly-
their place in the world,
for where they are they don’t wish to be…


Somewhere out there
a mother loves her children so much…
and they don’t realize
or take the time to look within hearts…
Many mothers like this
and history repeats itself all over again
like it did centuries ago.


Cherish the good;
but, learn from your mistakes.
I have and didn’t even know I was making them.


Now, I’ve come, too, see more of the truth…
Go … go on … go on … and get buried-
he says to me.


Our families will never heal until…


…to forgive is not always easy.
How many more secrets…?
let’s shove more in the closet-
until it explodes.


From the outside, it’s beautifully white…
How dark inside…
how very dark.


I don’t mind dying…
there is always pain before birth.

 

© Sonya Rose

Water Mask

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

“Thousands have lived without love, not one without water.” – W.H. Arden

 

Visions arrive and voices survive
Magical minds will never die.
In dim lit dimensions, I dive-
Days of divinity, shut-eye


Liquefy lines, light reflects
Antique hero, City of steel
Sunsets bleed, cinema connects-
The reality of my rustic reel

Raining hard, lightning’s black

Obscurity in a blue intuitive splash
Pleading with purpose, sinking back
Breathless, sparkling, orange-white flash


Follow me through a screen of leaves
Daring for dangers, serious face of Ocean
Body opens, lower part, make-believes
The Iron Gate swings in constant motion

Handle heavy, hidden in my hand

Sinking with treasures, treading thieves
On Broadway, banging my head, stand
Logic leans low, dawn of red reefs


White sound of keys, hearts lock
Zinc and copper in hair of Venus, she’ll
Wait in the womb, girls of gridlock
Rings of rows, distant dreams, surreal

Written in my eye, equations, multiply

On rainbow stain-glass, first cut, never fear
Love escapes cut-and-dry, pointless lullaby
And fills the sky with despair in hemisphere


Strange languages, pattern of the land
Grey brick buildings, flowing rhythm above
Fallen masters, wrestlers boxing on sand
I swam again from cycles of longing, love


Broken fences, empty houses, crying lambs
Shadows of the tempest, giant phony things
Beautiful bodies form holograms
Harmony kisses away the soft black rings


My irises are green, that awkward grin
Lips touch my cheeks, try to break-free
Surrender and laugh, all the children live-in
A circuit, freedom in a bright color movie

Energy disappears, losing minds, mudflow

Reflections in black and white, one race
Heavenly music glides past so slow
Dancing in costumes as refugees in space


The final girl without a name
Ego laughs, tricksters trespass, all the same
Swimming through temples, mysteries overcame
Barriers, the ascent from brothers of blame

Climbing stairs without steps, principal parts see

The pattern onstage hitting the mark of lies
Upon the making of a moment’s mystery
Bathing my eyes in cold water and slowly rise


Surrender to the surface, a silent screen star
Savage eyes rush to record so to remind
Beauty without meaning, you are
Sleeping immortality, spirituality will find

My soul below water and I anxiously ask-

Fate, will you embrace me without the mask…

 

© Sonya Rose

 

In response to My Story found on The Remembering Site

Sabile’s Smile

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

Sabile Shala was a 91-year old blind ethnic Albanian refugee who suffered from diabetes and lost track of all her relatives in the late 1990’s. I wrote this poem inspired by her spirit and everyone else’s strength of disrupted lives.

 

Where are my children?
I wish to die.
My sons and daughters of ten,
How will I live and identify?
Your faces in this outcry-
I am ready to reconcile,
With my country who bids goodbye.
If only I can smile…


Once again,
There’s no medication to buy.
My old bones ache when
Night falls and I cry.
Doctors of the World try
And try. Meanwhile,
I found shelter on standby.
If only I can smile…


Men, women, children,
And I are forced to leave; thereby,
I am looking for a doctor to comply
With feelings of suicide and supply
Pills to end this pain in exile
In my house, laughter would occupy.
If only I can smile…


I am sharing my last breaths; whereby,
Strangers assure me I am not senile.
I resemble someone’s grandma, by and by-
If only I can smile…


Goodnight,
My children, awhile
I send my love in a lullaby.
If only, I can smile…

But I’ll walk another mile
To heaven for your smile…

 

© Sonya Rose

Rapt in Reverie

December 13, 2007 § Leave a comment

I agree…
I don’t
really know your country;
But, I won’t
pretend to see
that you and I are truly free-
say to be
Nirvana’s draftee.
Today, I woke up to this dream
on the side of the New World;
And, I was sailing in the bloodstream
to the forgotten old-world

 

© Sonya Rose

Mother’s Crying

December 2, 2007 § 4 Comments

The heavens encircle the earth.
So quiet, stars sleep by her side.


Darkness fell while giving birth.
In a warm womb, I abide.


Mother’s form, forgotten worth,
I plant seedlings in her pride.

 

© Sonya Rose

My Name, Nonviolence

December 2, 2007 § 1 Comment

“Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this walked the earth in flesh and blood.” –Albert Einstein about Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


I am not an example of perfection.
Evolving, I am coping with the situation.
I feel helpless, face my humanization.
Revenge, impatience, and anger:
Their destroyer is their creator’s mission-
Be careful of their presence.

You may feel helpless and tense-

When surrounding your home is danger.
Stay in tune, you are no stranger.
I am the seeker, the truth, behold-
I crawl through the eye of gold.
And witness my failing changer.

Violent energy is generating-

Among the masses, and I
On my pursuit to a common cry-
Am stopped by the Prince
Who is leaving his state, hating.
Unleashing his man-eating dogs…

The atmosphere radically clogs

Can you help me rinse?
A court disaster, to convince…
Events around me, I cannot…
I will light a flame to spot
Your face; please find me…since

Your internal strife must cease

Before it ceases you-
Into the religion sectors’ hue
Composing their differences, lying…
Let love release.
Erase the minds of congressmen.

Mutual jealousy, desirable power again…

To rule the world when spirits are crying
Voices are speaking to me…terrifying
What can I do? I spell disaster, for the press-
Struggling in independent access…
Can you lead a movement when you’re dying?

Requires great strength, it seems,

And resolution, so express yourself
Now in this hour of myself
Your skin-deep nature to construct
A program, “Independence of Dreams”
Do you see the centre of responsibility?

Eating up a large percentage of hostility-

Inhibit your rightful aspirations, deconstruct
You have lost; have you found? Reconstruct-
My thoughts and my words, worldview
May I excite and detoxify you?
Your struggles will never cease, destruct.

If you don’t have me in your life,

Then you will lack strength and energy
Your ideal freedom is your heart, me.
Keep the fruits of my being,
An experiment is unfolding: True-life.
So pursue honesty with all your heart…

Direct…redirect the wrong
Into my net of being strong.


© Sonya Rose


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